Queer Girl's Guide To Strap-Ons 101

For our eighteen month anniversary, my girlfriend and I bought each other something we had talked about getting for a long time - a glorious strap-on. I want to say from the get-go that I am definitely not in the camp where I believe that anything phallic does not belong in the bedroom of two women. I would certainly say that I am not that big a fan of phallic appendages in the bedroom in real life, but I believe toys can definitely be heaps of fun in the bedroom, on top of the things we can do with what nature gave us! Don't get me wrong, I don't think they are in any way necessary for your favourite hot girl-on-girl time but they are just one more thing to play around with in the boudoir!

So we bought one and it was an eye-opener for both of us. The process of choosing what to get is so much more complicated than I ever would have thought, let alone working out how to use it! When it all comes together though, I can tell you, it's really something else. I did things to her that I never thought were even possible.

We had actually bought a strap-on previously, probably about four months ago. We bought it in a beginner's kit to strap-ons that provided the harness and the dildo, and were absolutely repulsed by it when we got it home and got it out of the packaging. It smelt, it flopped around, it was just honestly awful. So I wanted to put together this guide on how we chose the first proper one we bought, along with a guide on what to do with the damn thing once you've bought it (plus a few things I tried out on the dear GF that you can try at home).

Step One: Choosing The Harness

So there are a lot of different choices when it comes to harnesses - and your first choice is whether to go leather, cotton or other materials. Personally, I am a fan of the leather harness just because they are supposed to last a lot longer and frankly, I just find them sexier. But there are other options, for instance:

The Universal Breathable Harness, made of spandex and lycra for breathability and comfort. Not my favourite type of harness, but if you're vegan or not into leather, research some non-leather options. This is only one of many.
The RodeoH is a definitely preferable option in my eyes. It's basically underwear with built-in space for a dildo to go, made of 95% cotton and looks comfy as hell.

Not the way we went though, we decided on leather but that's not the end of the road. We ended up with the this glorious thing, because of a few of reasons:

1. First off, its easily adjustable and the buttons on the front allow for easy changing of rings for different sizes of dildos.
2. The leather (as stated before) is durable, long-lasting and easily maintainable with clear leather polish (do NOT use black leather polish to maintain, as it will rub off ALL over you, your partner and your bed sheets the next time you use it, and for several subsequent uses after).
3. Third, it's possible to remove the backing pad (the bit of leather behind the ring) which makes the dildo sit on the skin and makes the wearer feel a lot more connected to both it and their partner. 
4. Fourth, there are four joins holding the ring in place, which is important because the bottom two joins hold the two straps between your legs in place, as opposed to one with only one bottom join that means you pretty much end up with one strap between your legs (such as this). Having two joins hold the straps in place is a big advantage for a harness as if there is only one strap between your legs, basically if something slips during use... for ladies, it's camel-toe central.

I should add a qualifier however - the previously mentioned harness is also supposed to be good because the back strap is wider and so it both slips less and its more comfortable for the wearer.

There are many other options out there - vibrating harnesses or harnesses with the ability to slip a bullet vibe into for direct stimulation to your clit, I am just barely scratching the surface here. However, I would recommend something similar to the one we got or the RodeoH for beginners, purely because you can branch out later. Don't make the mistake we did and nearly swear off them for life by purchasing the wrong thing the first time.

Next time, choosing the right dildo for you and after that, what to do with the damn thing when you've got your hands on it

Check out the next post in the series: Queer Girl's Guide To Strap-Ons 102. If you want to see what we did eventually end up buying, have a look here.