On Wildlife

Was brainstorming new blog title ideas with my girlfriend this afternoon... she wrote down four columns on a piece of paper for things I write/want to write about, one of which was "sex" and another was "life". She told me to look up synonyms for all the words to write in the columns.

According to thesaurus.com, a synonym for "life" is "wildlife". Upon hearing this, she decided the new title of my blog should be Sex With Bears. Her contortions of laughter weren't stopped by me pointing out that this might not help me get the right kind of audience that I'm after. Other suggestions included The World, Deviants And Sparkling Lesbians and The Dreams Of A Freaking... She didn't finish the title. I'm not sure why.

Anyone out there have any sensible suggestions?

When You're Queer And Doing The Distance

So way back when, to that dark hole that was February when my girlfriend had just joined up for the Defence Force, I Googled tips for how to cope in long distance relationships, how to cope being a military wife, how to cope being a gay military wife, how to cope when she's away, how to [insert variation on a theme here]. There's a lot of material out there, most of it ridiculous and most of it seriously unhelpful. Articles on long distance relationships didn't tell me how to cope when they had taken her phone and I had no way to contact her, and searches on how to survive being a gay military wife resulted in several pages of news articles about the treatment of gay spouses by the US Defence Force. Searching for "how to cope when she's away" ended up with two types of results: articles for straight men or how to cope when your mother dies. Neither of those made me feel better.

Long distance sucks. I'm not going to try and tell you it's fun, or enjoyable, and definitely not that it's easy. But what I will tell you is that it's worth it. Or more accurately, she is worth it. You know she is, or you wouldn't be reading this. So here's a few tips from me on how I've survived the last few months. If you're straight or male, these might apply just as much, or less than, I'm not sure - but they can't hurt!

Happy Funday Friday!

So my stats are up and I've just finished my first set of posts, which I'm really excited about (mostly because I never thought I'd get around to it), so I thought I'd give you all a gift. People seemed to enjoy my Kink Play post, and this may or may not have been because half-naked photos of my girlfriend were rampant throughout it.

So I thought I would share this with you as a treat, and in celebration of finishing my Queer Girl's Guide To Strap-Ons series (see Parts One, Two and Three). Enjoy...

Queer Girl's Guide To Strap-Ons 103

In Parts One and Two I went over some basics on how to choose a harness and a dildo for you and your partner's pleasure in the boudoir. Here is what we actually ended up getting. For Part Three, I want to show you how to use it. So I'm going to tell you a story. The first time my girlfriend and I used our strap-on was mind-blowing for both of us. We have an amazing sex life, but this was one of the times I felt most connected to her in our entire time together.

It started off with a lot of faff. The harness has to sit higher here, and lower there. Rings have to be fiddled with, straps have to be tightened. We both tried it on, one after the other to start with. Playing around, giggling. It was our eighteen month anniversary, and she was going back to work the next day but we had the whole afternoon ahead of us. The apartment was empty and a sunny day outside. I have had sex with guys before, but she never has. She's never had anything bigger than our biggest vibe inside her (which is about half the size of the dildo in our strap-on). She wasn't even nervous, took the situation head-on like she usually does.

Seven Signs She Might Be Gay

So after drinks tonight with my Doctor friend (who I'm just going to call MD for ease of reference), I have a few interesting thoughts on how to tell if women are into women. MD believes that even if you can't tell if a woman is gay or not, you can definitely tell if she is interested in and/or sleeps with women. How? By paying attention to a few simple hints.

Do you remember that book by Roald Dahl - The Witches? If you don't, basically you can tell a witch with seven simple signs, and while all people might have a couple of these signs, only a few have all of them and you often just have a gut instinct about whether they're a little malevolent or not. Well, that's the take-home message tonight - there are signs you can follow but they're not always going to be right, and when in doubt, trust your gut instinct.

Queer Girl's Guide To Strap-Ons 102

So following on from Part One of my brief guide to strap-ons for beginners is the second step, choosing the instrument of your pleasure. I don't claim to be any expert in any of this, I've only had my eyes opened to this particular world of toys only recently, but I can't tell you, it's a pretty fun ride...

Whether you are giving or receiving, this is an important choice for both parties. My partner and I switch, we both give and receive depending on our moods and/or whoever gets it on first (hint: it's usually me). So we both had to have a say in what we got - which both parties probably should anyway, at least if you are buying it with someone else. So here we go...