Seven Signs She Might Be Gay

So after drinks tonight with my Doctor friend (who I'm just going to call MD for ease of reference), I have a few interesting thoughts on how to tell if women are into women. MD believes that even if you can't tell if a woman is gay or not, you can definitely tell if she is interested in and/or sleeps with women. How? By paying attention to a few simple hints.

Do you remember that book by Roald Dahl - The Witches? If you don't, basically you can tell a witch with seven simple signs, and while all people might have a couple of these signs, only a few have all of them and you often just have a gut instinct about whether they're a little malevolent or not. Well, that's the take-home message tonight - there are signs you can follow but they're not always going to be right, and when in doubt, trust your gut instinct.

 I want to clarify that these are purely arbitrary signs. There is no way definite way to tell if a girl is gay, queer or straight, or if she likes having sex with girls, boys or both. But back before I started sleeping with girls, I wished I had known even stereotypes of how to tell if a girl was into other girls, I had absolutely no freaking clue. I'm not joking, I was adrift on a sea of heteronormality and cluelessness. I wish I had read a completely arbitrary list of how to tell if the girl by the bar might have had a slightly higher chance of being into girls than everyone else.

So here we go, seven ways hints that she might be into girls (and this may or may not mean she wants to get into your pants):

1. Nails. Or to be more specific, short nails. Especially short nails on those two important fingers on the predominant hand. Long nails can really be nasty downstairs, as we can all probably attest to with at least one example. Any woman who is into women worth her salt will know this and keep her nails short, or at least on the fingers she uses on you.
2. Short hair. But don't assume. This may indicate being butch rather than simply being into women, but is definitely something to look out for.
3. Asymmetrical hair. For some reason so many queer girls that I know have asymmetrical hair. And it looks good on them! Mhmm...
4. Asymmetrical piercings. Not lobe piercings as plenty of straight women have these, say for instance, three piercings on your left ear and not your right. But then again, this might also mean you're a punk. Or goth.
5. Lack of make-up or if femme, an over-application of make-up. Us queer folk love to play around with gender more than most, so no matter what end of the butch/femme spectrum a girl swings, if she's queer - she will usually either downplay or overplay the make-up.
6. Profession - yes it's a stereotype, but as MD put it, if she saw the above signs on a women working in Emergency she would be far likelier to think she was gay than if she saw the above signs on a female GP. Some professions just seem to be populated with more women that are into women than others.
7. The Look. So if you're down the street, and you get that look from another woman (that you know you give them) that means they either think you're gay or they're checking you out, they are probably into girls. If you think you got the look from a girl, you probably did.

But seriously, these are not hard and fast rules. They're just a few silly hints that might mean your girl is into girls. There are thousands of queer women  out there that break all these rules, and plenty that make all of them. When in doubt, trust your gut. If you think she's into you, she probably is. If you think she probably wants to get into your pants, trust me, she probably does.